* a little bit longer

[lucas]

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---- Lucas opened his brown eyes for the third time in the past five minutes.No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't force himself to go back to sleep , there was one thing he despised more than anything and that was being tired, right now he was experiencing that.It was mid morning which was a really odd time for the young man to be awake considering his usual routine was pretty much nocturnal, he would stay up until around 5am and then sleep in practically all day.But right now he was focusing his vision on the ceiling, wondering what he had done to be awake at such a dreadful time.He didn't understand how people managed to get up early, he was always late back in high school because he just couldn't manage to get himself up.Lifting his head off of his pillow he ran his strong hand through his messy thick hair and sat upright with the covers still over him.He took in a deep breath and rubbed his eyes a little before looking at the time.He scowled and listened to his dog barking downstairs, that was probably the reason he had woken up so early, his stupid pet had been barking all morning."shut the hell up duke.." he yelled as loud as he could before jumping out of bed and making his way into the bathroom.

---- After getting himself ready the young man stood in his room, looking into the mirror as he sighed.A picture that he had treasured for so long of him and his ex girlfriend seemed to be mocking him, it was pinned against the frame of his mirror because he just couldn't bring himself to throw it out, the same as the rest of the stuff that he had gathered from their relationship, he pretty much had a mikayla box with photos, movie tickets, the sweater she left at his place and most importantly that darned ring that cost him their relationship hidden under his bed.Luc diverted his vision from the beautiful blonde in the photograph as he kicked a tennis ball across his room, it rolled under his bed and he refused to go pick it up, he could barely handle looking at the picture never mind see the whole box of memories.Trying to push away his negative thoughts he decided he needed to go out, to take his mind off of everything.He grabbed his car keys from his bedside table and began the journey downstairs, making a stop in the kitchen first to fill his dogs bowl with food , that was probably the reason his pet was barking, he ate food like it was going out of fashion, always barked and annoyed the hell of out Lucas but he was the dog he had grown up with, he couldn't help but love the thing.

---- It had been fifteen minutes since Lucas had sat down in his car, his black truck that he had been the owner of since he was seventeen, it was two years old but he never felt the need to get rid of it.He sat with his hands against the steering wheel wondering where to go, he didn't really have much aspiration for going out and doing the loner thing, considering he wasn't really in the mood for hanging out someplace by himself but he knew he had to get out of the house, he had been inside stuck to his laptop for the past week and all his friends kept complaining to him, to get out and have some fun, he had really let himself go recently.His hand reached for the stereo, he turned it up and waited for the song to play, it was one of his old Cd's an 80's rock CD, right now bon jovi was playing.He smiled and backed the car out of the drive, placing his aviator shades over his brown eyes he set out to the beach.The beach could be fun right? It was one of those places that you were allowed to go to alone because it looked like you were there to relax, to get a tan or read a book or something.Nobody would judge him if he turned up and just sat and watched the waves crash against the beach, whereas going to the mall alone seemed a lot less acceptable.The car drive lasted around ten minutes, he didn't live that far away from the beach so it was easy to get to, one of the few reasons he chose to come here.Lucas stepped out of his car and began the walk down the wooden board way.As soon as he stepped onto the sand he took in a breath of fresh air, his hands shoved into his pockets as he focused his sights on the bright, orange sun.

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 828
NOTES: let the plot begin -waves a flag-

[rach3]

Mikayla tried and failed to stay in bed, but the rumbling in her stomach just wouldn't let up no matter how much she wished it would. She reluctantly through herself off of her extremely comofrtbale bed, and sat up on the side of it. The girl wiped under her eyes with her left hand, and winced at the ugly scar on the inside of her wrist. The threw it back down to her side, fuming. When she looked at it she didn't think of what she had done, she thought of what made her do it. It was annoying, to say the least and extremely heartbreaking to put it in more simple terms. It still didn't show the magnitude of the whole situation. Killing yourself wasn't something she took lightly, she had an mazing life before that... incident. She shook her head, trying to bring her head out of what had happened to her. It wasn't that big of a deal... not anymore anyway. That was over, and things were fine. They had gone back to the way they used to be, the way things were before he ever came into her life and made her want to take herself out of it.

She pushed herself up from the bed, trying to just focus on getting ready for whatever the hell she felt like getting ready for today. It was the summer, she was in college. But the weird thing was she didn't have many friends. Usually she was the type of person who had lots of friends, but things had just gone so far downhill so fast for the beautiful young girl, that she didn't really know how to be social any more. Her and her family always thought that she wouls do well, she had charisma, the perfect relationship, and so much more going for her. And all it took was one of those to be taken away before the rest of them to fall. It didn't matter if she had taken it away, the way she saw it, she would have ended up making it up to him, he was the one who went and had sex with her best friend. She winced, shoving the thoughts out of her head as she pulled her sleeping shirt off of her head and checked the clock. It was almost ten, she would just grab some breakfast and head down to the beach.

For someone who had lived in Hawaii for her whole life, she didn't really go down to the beach that much. It was annoying with the tourists, and she burnt easily. A trait from her tourist mother, no doubt. Mikayla grabbed some clothes from her closet, laying them out on her bed to see what she wanted to wear. It was just the beach, so she didn't plan on wearing much. She settled with a pair of white short shorts, a yellow tank and her white bikini. She would probably be keeping all of her clothes on anyway, she didn't really want a tan, just some more alone time on top of the days of alone time she already had. Mikayla grabbed her keys, and headed down the stairs. The little bungalow the family of two lived it was great, it was small and made her feel really at home. It got a little crowded in the summer, with both kids living there, but she still loved it. She sighed, running her hand along the railing and yelling morning to her dad who was on the comuter in the next room like he always was.

Mikayla grabbed a breakfast bar, not being skimpy but deciding that she would grab something when she got hungrier down at the beach. They always had good food, and they never had good food at the house. Rule of thumb though, something that wasn't yours was always better. Right? Yeah, that was how it always was, with people to. Her old best friend would know a lot about that. She frowned, and headed out the door with an explanation to her dad first. She jumped into her beaten up old jeep, smiling at the grinding sound it made as she turned it on. That was how she liked it, old and beaten up. She was smiling all the way to the beach, just sort of giggling at all the nice cars she saw. It was always like her to stick out. Mikayla pulled into a parking spot, turning off the car and leaning over to grab something. When she got back up the person who she'd parked next to had gotten out of his car. Her jaw dropped and her heart skipped a beat. Why hadn't she recognized his car when she first saw it? Mikayla jumped away from the drivers seat, cussing loudly when she jerked against the seat belt. She peered through the open window, practically shaking with shock and fear.

words; 833
notes; la la laa. this should be funnnn!!
status; done!!

[lucas]

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---- Standing there on the beach alone, Lucas let the soft breeze flow through his hair, messing up the thick brown locks as it did so, he didn't care though.If anyone had to use one word to describe the young man, vain or arrogant would be at the back of the list.He wasn't one of those guys that stood in front of the mirror for hours on end, deciding what product to add to their hair, making sure they looked presentable.He just pretty much left his hair the way it was when he woke up, probably ran his hands through it a little because he was all for the messy look and then he would grab a pair of jeans and a shirt, sure he liked to look nice but it wasn't the top of his list of priorities.Maybe because right now he didn't really feel like he wanted to impress people in that area, it was hard for him at the moment.His brown eyes flickered to the side as he caught sight of kids running around the beach, chasing each other and falling into the sand, laughing hysterically as they did so.What he would give to be that carefree again, right now he felt like being with all of his friends, acting childish and running around like those youths, it was funny that the meaning of going to the beach had changed.When he was younger it was exciting to sit in the sand, build sandcastles or splash around in the seawater, now he was stood alone like a loser, thinking about everything that had gone wrong for him over the past few months.

---- Why? That word span around in Lucas' head like crazy, almost making him dizzy.That word seemed to haunt him a lot these days, why had he done what he did? He was completely against all of that kind of stuff, one nightstands and flings.That had all been blown out of the water when his girlfriend broke his heart, he had found comfort in the arms and bed of her best friend.The most stupid and immature, idiotic, pathetic thing he had ever done in his life.Sure Mikayla hurt him but was there really any need to go and hurt her like that? He thought he was going to enjoy seeing the look on her face when she found out, but it was the complete opposite, never in his life had he been manipulative or sadistic so it struck him as impossible to ever enjoy what he had created.The truth was all he wanted was to be with his girlfriend, he loved her, it was the only time he had ever been in love, experienced wanting to be with someone every second of his life and no matter how much he regretted doing what he did in a way he was still bitter about her breaking up with him, leaving him alone that night, just after their two year anniversary, who does something like that? Though she must have had reasons, she was a sweet girl, the most amazing person he had ever met in his life, so she must have had some kind of prerogative, it killed him inside to try and find out what it was, he had no chance now though, he hadn't seen her in a while.

---- Not that they both didn't live in Hawaii or anything, they both had lived there all their lives it was just when they broke up there were no explanations, no deep conversations about what they were going to do next, they just went their separate ways and didn't stay in touch.After a while he decided that just standing there wasn't going to be much fun, he thought taking a walk or something would make this little lonely outing a bit better.A sudden noise came from behind him, a familiar sound, a car engine grinding as if it hadn't been looked at by a mechanic in years, as if it were a century old or something.Though he couldn't quite put his finger on why it sounded familiar he decided to turn around and investigate, a confused expression dominated the once peaceful expression on the young mans face, but his expression was masked by the black shades of his sunglasses.A few steps closer and he could almost make out the car, he placed his fingers against the edge of his sunglasses to lower them, still walking forward incase it was anyone he knew, he lowered his sunglasses, letting his eyes adjust to the sudden exposure of light before checking out the noise.His hand jerked away from the glasses, they dropped to the ground with a thump, a thump that sounded too loud for its own good, probably because his head began to spin, he felt a little dizzy and his eyes involuntarily widened.He stood for a moment or two like that, looking the girl he had once shared everything with in the eyes, she was peering through the window, he was frozen to the spot.Never in a million years would he have predicted this, his heartbeat increased as he turned around again, ready to just walk away, but something stopped him, he suddenly turned around yet again to face her, moving from side to side as if he didn't know what to do.

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 913
NOTES:it really is fun haha, awkward and funfunfunnn did i mention i love you? xD <33

[rach3]

It never occurred to the girl that she would ever have to see him again. They lived in the same place, but it was such a big place that she hadn't seen him once since she found out about what happened. Hell, they even went to the same school and they didn't see each other. So seeing him here standing away from her, hair blowing in the wind like some damn movie scene, was more than a little hard for the poor girl. She hadn't meant to break up with him, she had just been so scared. The ring was just a commitment, and she wasn't afraid of being with him forever, it was just so solid she didn't know what to do. Any girl would have been thrilled, Mikayla was just scared. She had the fight or flight instinct, and she usually chose the latter, poor girl. She didn't want to leave him, the whole thing was just really intimidating. And now she regretted it more than anything, and up and until now, she'd never thought she would have to face it after that one night. The one night that she'd almost died.

Mikayla's hands shook on the steering wheel, her eyes looked straight ahead at the boys back. This wasn't something she had ever expected. Not here, not like this. maybe a planned meeting would have been a little better than anything else, then she could have prepared a little more for it. Mikayla frantically looked down at her outfit. She looked okay, not great but not bad. She internally slapped herself. Why did it even matter? It was just Lucas, and they weren't dating, and as far as she knew, he was dating her ex best friend and having the time of his life. She winced at the thought, they had been so in love before, or so she thought. Was it really that easy for him to just forget about her. Mikayla was still in love with him, and it hurt. She'd tried not to be, and the only way she could think of was to take herself out of this world. That hadn't exactly gone as planned. Instead of dieing like she was supposed to, she just passed out and her dad found her an hour later, almost dead. She had been that close to escaping from the pain, and she failed. Just one more thing she couldn't do. Keeping her boyfriend and dieing. How pathetic.

Mikayla frowned, memories weren't something she should be thinking of at the moment. No, since her entire past was coming back to haunt her or some crazy shit like that, it was stupid to be thinking about anything else but the boy she loved standing right there, turning around to face her. She shrunk back into her car, trying to pretend like she hadn't seen him, trying to pretend like he wasn't there. Maybe, it was all just a dream. She just hadn't woken up yet, that was it. A smile almost lit her face and she reached over and pinched herself in the leg. Shit, ow. She muttered quietly. It wasn't a dream, or maybe it was and she just couldn't get out because it was a nightmare. That could have still been a possibility. Except most of the nightmares she had involved her walking in on him and her best friend Miranda. That wasn't happening, now he was just walking towards her. This was a slow nightmare, if it was one. But it wasn't, she knew that, her mind just wanted to block out the reality. And that wasn't working out so well right now.

She held her ground, or her steering wheel as she watched him turn around. her eyes followed his hands, that pulled his sunglasses down. He walked closer. Mikayla gulped, watching him nervously. Maybe there was someone behind her he knew Damnit, she was letting herself think things she shouldn't. He had heard her car, and could now see her, cowering in the front seat like a lunatic. She let herself loosten up a little. This moment would have happened eventually, it was just a matter of time. She sighed, letting her grip off of the wheel. When he turned around, her face settled, he hadn't even seen her. Then he turned back around, and she knew that he had. Mikayla grabbed her bag, stepped out of the car, and closed the door. She opened her mouth to say something to him, but was lost for words. She stood there by her car, clutching her bag and towel like a life preserver. She was barely holding on. Mikayla shifted her feet, looking down at the sand.

words; 808
notes; not very long but i feeel the point gets across in this one. YAY FOR DRAMAMAAAMA
status; finito

[lucas]

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---- Staring the girl that held the key to his heart in the eyes, stirred up a roller coaster of emotion inside of Lucas.It was a mixture of positive and negative feelings, the positive being that he was madly in love with her, she looked so gorgeous, soft blonde hair framing her face perfectly, chestnut brown eyes gleaming in the orange sunlight, she looked so cute peering from the window, not that he would admit that to her.The negativity kind of overwhelmed him though, it was hard to look at her, it was almost like torture, he began to think he would have preferred staying at home and poking himself in the eyes nonstop, that would have most likely been less painful than this moment right here.It was like they were seven, like they weren't mature enough to even say hi to each other and anyone analyzing the situation from a third person perspective would have thought they were stupid, that they should have just moved on.But it seemed like everyone else didn't know the truth, it was him and her all the way, only they understood the depth of this little reunion here.Reunion seemed like the wrong word for it, because a reunion often symbolized a willing group of people meeting up and having fun, this occurrence was involuntary and would no doubt end badly.

---- He wanted to move right now, heck he would have given anything for the earth to just open up and swallow him whole, it would save the embarrassment of all of this.Curiosity overwhelmed him though, that was the only logical explanation as to why his feet were metaphorically nailed to the ground, he just couldn't stop staring at Mikayla no matter how hard he tried.It didn't seem like the feeling was mutual though, the blonde shrunk into the car seat as if she was trying to divert herself from him, like she didn't want him to see her.Well too late because he already had, another confused frown embedded into his forehead as he lifted his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms over his chest sorrowfully, it was like all the energy he had previously had been sucked from his body.It had all gone into thinking about where she had been for the past few months, she just disappeared of the face of the earth, back when they were dating even if they hadn't planned to meet each other they would usually cross paths on the street or at school, now they never did.Perhaps she was avoiding him? It was reasonable and she had every right to do so after what he did but didn't he also have rights to do what he did? Luc sighed, trying to convince himself that it wasn't a terrible thing to do never seemed to work, it was hopeless even trying.All the questions running through his mind made him feel like he was in a conversation with her, like he had to prove himself to her but he did want to prove himself, he wanted everything to go back to the way it was.Maybe his time had come? His chance was here and now.

---- So he began his journey toward the car after picking up his sunglasses, checking to see if it was definitely her before making a fool of himself, well either way he was going to make a fool of himself and he would probably be less of an idiot if it wasn't actually her, there could be a possibility that someone resembled her right? Now he was just being stupid, he walked closer, slowly and forcefully edging his way to her car.He approached it, looking at the front of the jeep, he bit his lower lip remembering when the two of them sat on that very car and looked out at the stars on her birthday, they got takeout food and sat there practically all night, it was one of the best nights of his life.It was that day that he told her he loved her, she reciprocated his feelings.He ran his fingers over the paintwork softly as he made his way around the car, avoiding eye contact with her.Lucas placed his sunglasses in the pocket of his jeans before maneuvering himself around the car, he heard the door slam shut and she stood in front of him clutching onto her possessions as if they were her life, she was obviously nervous about this whole thing too, he wondered if she was going to spit poison in his direction or if she would be the sweet girl he had fallen for.Who knew, there was only one way to find out though."hey stranger" the quivering in his tone of voice made it evident that he was a nervous wreck, he thought that by giving the old fashioned small talk hello it would brighten the mood a little, typical Lucas trying to make things happy, this situation could never be happy, it was terrible "i knew it was you, i mean at first i thought a plane was landing on the beach or something but.." he tried to joke but cut himself off, it didn't seem the same though, her vision was focused on the sand beneath her, he had betrayed her and there was nothing he could do about it, he hated himself for it.

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 913
NOTES:i loved your post <3

[rach3]

Mikayla's fingers flexed on her bag, she was trying not to tear it apart. Anyone who would have randomly walked over to say hi would have been able to poke the tension with a needle and make it explode. An explosion wasn't in the recipe for this though, this would be a silent explanation of sorts, she was sure of it. An explosion didn't make sense, all parties knew who made the first mistake, and who made the second wrong. It was that simple, but it was so hard to speak about it. She scuffed her feet lightly in the sand, watching the small pieces of rock skid away from her like she was a disease. How nice and refreshing, she was even getting rejected by rejected pieces of rock. Nothing like that to make a girl feel great in the morning. Oh, that and seeing your ex boyfriend that supposedly loved you that cheated on your best friend at the beach. Yeah, that was a great morning waiting to happen. She let out a sigh, she wanted so badly to feel relaxed. Mostly she wished that it had never happened. She'd thought it over a million times, she just needed to think more rationally.

And that was it. That was all she had to do to keep him, and prevent everything else from happening. The bad part was that to him, all that had happened was that he hooked up with her best friend, he didn't know that she'd failed to kill herself, and was left with a nasty scar on her left wrist. To him it was a little more simple, and he could never know. Because then he would know she still loved him, despite what his actions made her want to do. That was so pathetic, he couldn't know that she'd tried to kill herself because of it. It made her seem weak, and stupid. Just thinking of it made her feel low. If she could have changed anything, besides the one thing that happened before, she wouldn't have tried to do what she did. She would have just let it go, been depressed. Being in rehab was something no one saw her doing. A young, bubbly blonde tried to kill herself? No way, that only happened in the movies. The movie of her life was terrible, and apparently it wouldn't end no matter how bad she wanted it to.

Mikayla had actually thought of killing herself again, but she stayed for her father. He was there to support her, and so was her brother. The two men were her wings, her support through her tough time. She was sure that if Patrick ever saw Lucas, he would beat the shit out of him. That was a promise she hoped he didn't keep. Mikayla pulled herself out of her reverie for a moment to see him walking toward her. She held back from stepping back, she didn't want him to walk away, no matter how bad she thought she did. This was their chance to talk, even though there was nothing to talk out. His hand ran over the side of his car and a flash of memories went before her eyes. He told her he loved her, she did the same. They spend all night on that car. And then some in it. Mikayla was hard pressed to hold back the girlish giggle that threatened to pop from her lips. The blush that rose on her cheeks was hard to miss, and she glanced toward the back seat of her car shaking her head.

Mikayla focused on the present, and the present was that the young man she loved was finally stopped, his hand on her car. Her mouth was pressed shut, holding back a million things she wanted to say. 'I love you', 'Why did you do this to me?' or most definitely, 'I almost died for you.' That would have shut him up. Or got him talking, either one. She listened to him speak and closed her eyes for a millisecond, just hearing his voice. It had been so long. Was it sick for her to still think of him this way? He had changed her life forever, and a few months ago it hadn't been in a good way. She let her fingers loosen on her bag, and let out a small sweet smile. Hi, Lucas. Her voice wasn't exactly strong, but it was good enough. She let out a small grin at his comment on her car. She even laughed a little. Weird. Don't make fun of her.She purred, running her hand over the rear view mirror. And, it's not my fault my dumb boyfriend didn't know shit about cars. She smiled again, but it faltered. More memories, him trying to fix the car but just failing completely. Those were good times. She sighed, finally letting lose on the bag and setting it on her car. They had to talk eventually.

words; 848
notes; once again, not mucho long, but i liiiike it. this is fun
status; FINITO!!

[lucas]

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---- Lucas' mind began to wonder onto how she was reacting to all of this.If she even had any remaining feelings for him or if she just felt awkward because they had broken up.When he ran his hands over the paintwork of her car he noticed her examining it too, looking over at the backseat as she did so, an inner smile forming in his mind, was she thinking about the same thing he was? Awkwardness didn't exactly describe how the young woman looked though, as she gripped her bag tightly and kicked sand beneath her feet he could almost feel the lack of comfort she was experiencing oozing from her body language.She was in a defensive sort of position, as if he was out to get her or something.Right now he didn't really know what to say, what to do even.It would have been rude for him to just walk away from her without coming into contact, due to the amount of time they used to spend together he wasn't the kind of guy to completely push the past aside, only because through all of the negativity and heartbreak he had experienced if he just scratched that away, under the surface were all of the good times the two of them had shared together, every kiss, the way she used to look deeply into his eyes and tell him she loved him, when he used to hold her as they watched movies together, he would stroke her hair and she'd always let out the same cute little giggle, he missed that.It was all coming back to him again, only it was intensified because she was right there in front of him, he actually had a visual to co exist with his thoughts other than just plain old memories.

---- Mikaylas facial expression showed no kind of emotion at first, it was like she was thinking about something, remembering something maybe? He could always tell when she was deep in thought, he had spent so much time with her that he could read her like a book.But the difference now was that he couldn't ask her what was wrong, well he could but she had every right to tell him to shove his questions up his ass, so he respected that and kept his mouth shut, no matter how much he wanted to question the hurt look in her once beautiful brown eyes.They seemed so dull, so colorless like she was upset or thinking about something that upset her.By the way things had gone, with them losing touch he had expected her to be back to her old self by now, that bubbly , fun, wild crazy girl he had fallen for.She was definitely high maintenance but thats what he loved about her, loved being the operative word.It was all past tense.Shoving his depressing thoughts to the far back of his mind he ran his fingers through his hair, something he always did when he was nervous, a habit of his.Finally deciding to break the silence that had swallowed them both, Lucas started with a lighthearted sort of tone, a bit of smalltalk to try and break the tension into tinier pieces, it was never going to be simple, talking to her, or even seeing her but the least they could do was to try and stop this awkward attitude, time was a necessity but he didn't want to wait, he wanted to talk things through with her, he wanted her back, she was his and it would kill him to see her with anybody else.Which was sort of hypocritical when he thought about it considering that was exactly what he did to her.

---- A smile? She produced a smile.Wow, his eyes lit up in a happy way as he noted the little bit of warmth coming from her, sure it wasn't her full bubbly smile but it was a start right.It showed everything she felt toward him wasn't just negativity, or maybe she was just faking a smile, a forced awkward smile wasn't exactly impossible.The sudden glow in his eyes disappeared as that thought consumed him.Next thing he knew she was saying hello to him and he was shocked, utterly and truly shocked.He had expected her to tell him to fuck off, or at least he expected her to shun him.Suddenly he lifted his hand up and waved, he waved?!?! he turned his head to look at his hand and threw it back to his side quicker than he thought possible, he must have looked completely lame standing there waving at her after she said hi but he was caught up in the moment, he was scared and didn't know what to do.His cheeks began to turn rosy shade of pink as he bit his lower lip, forcing himself not to look away from her."I'm not making fun, I'm just stating the obvious..theres a difference Kayla, besides would you rather me make fun of you?" he grinned, his heart pounding against his chest like a fist as she laughed, that laugh always made his heart melt but right now it hurt to hear it, he enjoyed that he had made her laugh but to know he couldn't be with her dominated the happiness.Calling her Kayla didn't seem right either, sure anybody could have called her that it was just a shortening of her name but were they really on nickname terms again? he didn't even know."i-" he stuttered and paused, it was unlike him to just stop talking since he could babble for the world but she said the word boyfriend and it took him by surprise, it brought back the memories of him spending endless hours trying to fix her car, she would bring him drinks and he would eventually give up, then they would sit in the back and well--the rest of that story brought a smile to his face.Which he quickly wiped off as he realized he had paused for an uncomfortably long amount of time "hey, a mechanic i am not but if you ever wanted me to make you meals i was an expert at that, so don't you mock me" he teased pointing in her direction "besides i wouldn't have looked good in one of those mechanic outfit things , bu--" about to tell her that she would have looked good in one he stopped himself, it was like her speaking to him had momentarily turned back time, he forgot they hadn't talked since god knows when.So he shut himself up, looked at her and knew this conversation may not end the way he wanted it to.

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 1146
NOTES:i got a bit carried away in the last paragraph, this thread amuses me <3

[rach3]

Mikayla watched with earnest interest as he ran his fingers through his hair. His nervous habit. It was good to know that she wasn't the only one who was freaking out on the inside and trying not to look like it here. How could they not? A bad breakup after an amazing two year relationship wasn't something you could easily get over, especially when one side had tried to kill themselves. Then it was a lot harder. And that was what Mikayla was going through, because she had done just that. She desperately didn't want him to know that, she didn't like the feeling it gave her. Had she been that desperate? Looking back at it now she never would have, but then she was so scared, so alone. It hadn't been planned, it was a split decision. She saw the knife in the kitchen and just did it. It was only a few days after she found out what he did. Not thinking rationally, that was one of her biggest downfalls. It was the only thing that made her life hard. The night she broke up with him, then a few nights later. If only she had a head on her shoulders that told her what to do the right way.

Her lips twitched as she watched his eyes fill with something. Happiness? Surprise? It was something along those lines, and it followed after she had smiled at him. That was frustrating to her. He shouldn't care if she was happy, he was the one that had sex with her best friend. He should be speaking in monotone, walking away. He should have waved and then walked away. That was all she wanted. And it was a big fat lie, too. She let out a small sigh, deciding not to be weak and look at the floor. She'd had enough weakness for a lifetime. When she looked up at him, he was lifting his hand, and he was waving at her like a complete dork. She put her hand up to her mouth to stifle a giggle at the anti climatic greeting. Mikayla couldn't help it. The poor girl burst into laughter, doubling over at the force of it. Her eye squeezed shut and she just laughed for a half a minute before she cleared her throat and lifted her self up again, tears at the corners of her eyes from laughing so hard. Sure, what he had done was funny, but it wasn't really that. The whole situation was making her so nervous she was laughing. It was like the first day of sex ed or something.

She let out one more sigh, giggling quietly. Mikayla eyed his blush for a moment and held back a guilty smile. She could have made this easier for him, but she didn't really feel like it. Her mouth shut when he started talking, an easy smile on her face. It was natural, just like that. Except the two were standing at such an awkward distance it still looked funny. Her lips pursed slightly at his words. He had called her Kayla. It had been a really long time since anyone had called her that. Her family called her Kay, and everyone else just called her Mikayla. It was as simple as that. No one else called her Kayla, it had always been him. A sadness swept over her eyes and she frowned for a moment, her happiness faltering. She picked her face back up again, determined to look alright. Just for herself, not for anyone else. I haven't had a chance to get her fixed up the past few months. I've been... busy. Mikayla's eyes accidentally slipped down to her left wrist, and the nasty, jagged scar that still had a little pink around the edges. It had been worse looking, but it was still really obvious. Her eyes shifted away, looking a little guilty.

Mikayla listened to his stutter with a curious look, it wasn't like him to be unsure. Then he saw his far away, look, he was remembering like she had been before. It was easy to get lost in those memories, she did all the time. It helped her sleep at night sometimes. Mikayla nodded and let out a small laugh at his words. It was true, she was a horrible cook and he always made her whatever she wanted. He wasn't whipped, but the boy had just known how to make her happy. Who didn't love a little homemade food on a cold night? It always made her feel better. Another adorable guilty smile popped onto her face as he pointed at her. She blushed, feeling a little stupid for acting so girly. She started to smile at his next sentence, but it faltered when he did. He was about to say something but stopped himself. They were both having trouble saying what they wanted to say. It was about time they let it all hang out though, say what they had to say. Otherwise she would just get mad, and she didn't want to fight with him. Just be with him. I don't think you would look half bad. She laughed a little and ran a hand through her hair, squinting into the sunlight. So are you meeting someone here? Her voice trailed off, thinking maybe he had a girlfriend. She didn't care, she was sure about it. Or do you... want to maybe... She trailed off again, feeling weird. Instead she lifted her hand and pointed to the beach,. Standing here by the cars wasn't exactly a prime spot for talking. Talk for a while.

words; 961
notes; this is so much funn. i'm loving this post. so i'm thinking... confessions and such? or just more awkwardness?
status; finished.

[lucas]

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---- The smile that spread across his lips seemed to be mirrored by hers, they were smiling with each other again and he was beginning to think that coming out might not have been so bad.At first he thought getting out of the house would do him good, he was constantly thinking about Mikayla even though it had been so long since they broke up and well he really needed to clear his head so when he got to the beach to discover she was in the exact same place at the same time it all felt too ironic.Ironic in the sense that the one time he wasn't trying to think about her she was there, forcing his mind to focus on her and only her.Crazy how things worked but right now, he wasn't complaining , it would do them good to talk, even if it was just a little harmless banter, he wanted more though, he wanted to talk everything through with her because he deserved that right? He deserved to know why she broke up with him, everything seemed fine until he gave her that ring but did that show that she didn't want to be with him forever? Lucas knew in his heart, his mind and soul that she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, at least thats what he used to think, if she didn't have those mutual feelings then he would have to move on and thats what he did, it was idiotic but his actions were done now there was nothing he could do to take them back, except explain to her that it was all a mistake, but would she believe him? Was she even willing to have a fully blown conversation with him? These questions had been his torment for so long now and even though the opportunity to have them answered was standing right in front of him, in a beautiful blonde package he could help but bite his tongue and keep his questions to himself.

---- The waving incident.Now hopefully nobody saw it, hopefully she would just forget about it and he could go crawl under some rock and die.Nope, that was definitely the complete opposite of a Mikayla type thing to do.Sure enough the woman began to laugh, she burst into a fit of laughter, cupping her mouth and squeezing her eyes shut.Lucas raised one eyebrow in confusion, he cracked a smile, slowly forming into a soft laugh as the light pink in his cheeks began to burn into a hot red.She was definitely embarrassing him now, it didn't take him long to realize why she was in hysterics though, she had a habit of laughing when she was nervous and although if confronted about it she would deny ever feeling awkward or tense in this situation he felt it in his gut that she was, instead of pointing it out and teasing her about it he laughed along with her.Enjoying seeing her be so spirited, even if it was just because she was nervous.The tears in the corners of her eyes from laughing so much glistened in the sunlight and he took a deep breath to stop himself from breaking down, usually he would have been laughing along with her, crying because of the intense laughing session, stomach hurting because of the force of how happy he was.But he just couldn't.Lifting his hand up he half reached in her direction, wanting so bad to wipe those tears of joy from her eyes, to place his hand against her cheek and softly rub it with his thumb.Thudding his hand back to his side he denied himself the opportunity, he didn't want to make things even more awkward, if the tension that was already there grew any thicker they would probably suffocate from it all.

---- Within seconds her facial expression had dropped to a saddened look and once again lifted up to its previous expression, as if she was forcing it though."you never wanted to get her fixed up though, you always said you liked that noise..it adds character to you i believe were your words" he smiled, about to add more to his remark when he noticed her eyes drop down when she said the word busy.It seemed to have a background to it, it wasn't just the type of busy that people said when they'd been overloaded with homework she meant something by it and although his eyes followed the direction of hers he couldn't figure out what she was looking at, to her arm? it didn't make sense to why she was looking at her arm so she may not have actually meant anything by looking down there, she was probably just avoiding eye contact but either way he couldn't help but be curious.He played it cool, trying to look down to her arm as he leaned in a little, swiftly as if he were just shifting weight between his feet.

---- Lucas never would have made a very good spy though, he just couldn't handle it, Mikayla looked back in his direction and he didn't get the chance to take a look at what he was trying to look at, even if he didn't know what that was.A quick smile played in the corners of his lips and her next words made that smile automatically grow, she told him he wouldn't look half bad in a mechanics outfit and he fought back the urge to blush again, he really needed to stop acting like a lovesick child around her."you would have looked beautiful, like always" thats all he needed to say, but he couldn't."meeting someone" he repeated, coughing a little "yep, all twenty thousand of my imaginary friends, we're having an imaginary barbecue while we build imaginary sandcastles" a sarcastic tone dripped from his voice, along with the familiar joking tone to follow."why, are you?" he sounded defensive but in all honesty, he didnt want her to be meeting someone, she couldnt have someone else, he wouldnt allow it, she was in his heart forever and always.Mikaylas voice began to trail off, he didn't quite know what to expect but when she pointed to the beach he looked out at the white sand, the sun slowly dying down, a little less bright than it had been earlier.His head turned back to face hers as she suggested talking, was it wise to do that? They could live with small talking each other every now and again right? Luc pushed that thought away, he needed to stop feeling the fear and just take action."i think we are long overdue for that talk" he replied, maneuvering his way around the back of her, to stand on her left side this time.Maybe some investigating into what she was looking at earlier could be put into session as they talked, it seemed perfect.Luc grabbed her bag from the car, where she had set it down earlier, he felt it was the least he could do, carry her stuff for her as they walked onto the beach, it didn't even take a second thought since he used to do those kind of things all the time anyway.

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 1224
NOTES:bring on the confessions and stuffff haha, im thinking when he finds out about the reason behind the scar, one of them would freak out and run away, then we could have another thread of the aftermath ahha.

[rach3]

Seeing him smile hurt her more than she let on. It was sort of like that smile was the one that made her happy but made her arm burn more than it used to. Why today? She wished that she could have been more prepared. Maybe mentally, maybe on the outisde. She would have showed up looking like crap if it meant she could have gotten her mind, and more likely her heart ready for this. She couldn't tell if he was just being nice and talking to her, or if he sincerely wanted to clear things up. She could never tell with guys, but she could always tell with him. He was different, they'd known each other so well for so long that they could read each other easily. But was he the same person, or just some guy she used to know? Right now it was hard to tell but she hoped at the end of this talk she would know that. Or would this be just a normal talk? Would the topic be the weather? She wouldn't know until the two got down there, sat there asses in the sand and figured it out. But it wasn't wrong for her to be afraid, he would do more listening and she would do more talking. She glanced at her wrist again. She would be doing a lot of talking.

Mikayla watched him reach forward with a smile still on her face. She decided for a few minutes to just lose herself in the memories, pretend nothing had ever happened. In a few minutes it would all change, because she would tell him exactly what happened with no editing. That is, if she plucked up the courage to do that. That would be hard enough as it is to tell anyone, let alone the boy who made her do it. but she couldn't pin the whole thing on him, that wasn't fair at all. It was her fault, the whole thing. He'd only wanted to spend forever with her, and she rejected the idea because she was scared, not because she didn't love him. And then he'd hooked up with her best friend. Yeah, that was bad, but she didn't have to stab herself in the wrist to try and get over it. It didn't help one bit. Obviously not in her case, she was still here, facing every day like it was her last. And that was why it was so good to see Lucas. He brought out the old, fun Mikayla that no one had seen in months, almost a year. That would have been plenty of time for a normal person, but not for her. She was different, she had never been hurt so badly by someone she loved so much in her life, and she hadn't planned on it either.

Mikayla let out a soft laugh at his words. No one else called her car 'her' but him. To everyone else the car was just the car, and people who were into cars made fun of her for giving her car a personality. She was just a blonde bimbo. But when she got that car it was her life and soul, so the car had a damn name and everyone who crossed her about it never heard the last of it. If she wanted her car to be a person, she could and that was it. Well, I always like to make an entrance. She grinned, but the thoughts behind it were different. She hadn't tried to make people look at her in some time, she just tried to skate by, that was the new mikayla. Very, very quiet and secretive. She didn't want anyone to know. You know that. Her suggestive grin was egging toward a certain event that was around when they had been dating for a few months. She had been so eager to go to a party with him, that she busted through the door so fast she ran into about seven people and knocked them all over. They had then knocked more people over, causing a domino affect. Pretty soon the whole party was in smithereens and Mikayla had tried to get out of there so fast she hit her head on a table when she tripped, giving herself a concussion. The couple spent the night in the hospital, with lots of kisses to make it better.

Her eyes randomly lit up thinking of this, and she blushed a little. She must have looked so foolish, randomly giggling and acting stupid at things. Oh well, it was a little late to be worried about how she looked, really. Mikayla rolled her eyes and laughed, stepping forward to playful push him on the chest with her left hand. She pulled it back quickly, but didn't falter. Shut up, Luc. You have lots of friends. She giggled, crossing her arms over her chest nervously. She shook her head, No, I'm not. She was the one with no friends, not him. People always liked Lucas, he was easy to talk to, easy to be around, easy to look at, easy to kiss... Mikayla shook her head again, she was getting a little carried away with things that were easy to do with him. That thought made her brush a deep red, she could feel it creep along her neck. She shook it off ignoring that feelings that rumbled in her stomach and down to her legs. When he stepped toward her, she nodded, watching him grab her bag like the gentleman he was. That wasn't fair. She sighed, leading the way down to the beach. The sun was starting to fall a little, but it was still early enough in the afternoon for it to be nice out. She gently tugged the blanket from his grasp after walking a few feet into the beach and place it on the ground. She sat down on one end, and brought her knees up, placing her arms over them. Her left wrist was in broad daylight, and it might have been on purpose, too.

words; 1035
notes; NUUU! i think that the shit should hit the fan in this thread. starting a new thread would hurt me on the inside.
status; DONEE!

[lucas]

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---- The conversation about her crappy old car continued and he couldn't help but smile throughout it.She brought back memories, memories that he thought he didn't want to remember but now as he stood in front of her, looking at the car that Mikayla had given a gender and even a personality to he was glad that those old times had resurfaced.Back when they broke up he had tried to delete everything from his mind to do with her, thus creating the box full of her stuff and photographs, but he just couldn't for the life of him find the strength to throw that stuff away.Lucas let out a laugh, the first official laugh he had been genuinely happy about in ages, what seemed like years but obviously it wasn't that long.Mikayla always made him laugh, smile, feel happy no matter what the occasion and even though their past was wedged in between them he still couldn't help but smile."Yeah you did" he replied between laughs as he noted her suggestive grin.Remembering that one not so lucky night that she had, they had gone to a party and the excitable Mikayla took over, it was as if she were bipolar with two completely different personalities but at that moment she was more like an excitable little puppy, jumping around like crazy with full bursts of energy, she had exploded through the door so fast she knocked over pretty much the entire party ending with her banging her head which resulted in hospital and a lot of sarcastic remarks and caring gestures from Lucas.A burst of laughter shot from his mouth as the memories flooded into his mind "only you could knock over an entire party, destroy everything, get concussion and still have happy memories about it...not to mention still being the popular crazy ass girl of the moment, you really deserved a medal kayla" he replied, mimicking her grin as another strong gust of wind came rushing toward them, their hair blowing around like crazy.

---- Sarcasm shot at her, though he didn't mean it in an offensive way, she knew that, at least she should have considering she was the only person in the world that really put up with his crazy attitude.Most people would take his remarks offensively or just get pissed off with him not taking things seriously twenty four seven, but he was all about fun and Mikayla knew that, they were meant to be together they both realized that on the fortunate day at the mall, god he missed her.She reached over and he didn't know what she was going to do but she told him he had lots of friends, after telling him to shut up he smiled shyly and she pushed his chest playfully.The feel of her hand against his body sent shivers through his spine, a tingling sensation over his skin, he was too dumbfounded to even react for a while.He enjoyed the familiar warmth he felt whenever she was around, whenever they touched.Even if she was just messing around.After a moment or two to regain composure Lucas stepped forward, poking her nose gently with one finger "i may have lots of friends but I'm missing happiness" he replied in a tone too serious for Lucas valmont that anyone would have thought he was high, usually a joke would have been put in the place of that remark but he owed her honesty after everything he had done and well, sure he had friends but they weren't making him happy like she used to, she wasn't just his girlfriend she was his best friend.

---- When she suggested the talk he knew in his heart that it would be the best thing to do.The two of them had left it so long to actually have the break up talk that it wouldn't have seemed relevant for them to dig up everything that hurt them both so badly but he needed to do that, he knew it would clear his head at least a minimal amount to know why she broke up with him, to understand how she had felt that day and what she was feeling right now.But when she said they should talk for a while and he replied that their talk was long overdue he began to regret saying those words, only because now he knew that they had to talk, he actually had to make sense of everything and tell her things, things he never wanted to talk about, things she probably didn't want to talk about.Unless by 'talk' she didn't mean what he had interpreted it to be? Maybe she meant they should just talk, about random things? No, it couldn't be that, it was so unlike Mikayla to just push things away and not deal with them , which was another thing that played on his mind, why she had lost contact with him , not even shown her face.She had been so out of character recently that it sort of worried him if he had to admit it.But there was nothing that could be done now, they were already half way down the beach and she had already tugged the blanket away from him placing it on the sand, sitting down as the sun glistened against her skin as if she were an angel.Lucas sat down next to her, he hadn't really given her a proper look over yet, he looked out to the sea "so, i guess i--" his words cut off suddenly as his head turned to face her, caught sight of her left wrist, the thing that she had been looking at previously, an unfamiliar mark across her wrist caused his eyebrows to furrow, into a frown, at first confused but then angry as he leaned over, probably invading her personal space but he didn't care.His fingers came into contact with her arm, he grasped it gently, finally looking into her chestnut brown eyes with his, confusion pouring from his eyes "what the hell have you done" he questioned, though it was pretty obvious what had happened here.

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 1047
NOTES:hahaha ok, sounds good anyway xD oooooooooooh she's been found out dun dun dunnn.

[rach3]

Mikayla hadn't looked or felt this radiant in a long time. The smile plastered on her face wasn't faltering, it was just there. She was happy and laughing for the first time in a very long time, so anything he said just upped the happy scale. Like being at the bottom of a mountain. The only way to go was up. Problem with that was, what happened when you got to the top? Your ass fell all the way back down to the bottom again, and that's what happened with them. Mikayla had begun to think that climbing the mountain wasn't worth it because climbing back down was a bitch, and falling was even worse. Maybe that was why she didn't want to go down this road, and why she would so willingly tell him what she had done. Climbing the mountain was to hard, and the fall down wouldn't be worth it in the end. Another down to the whole thing? You started thinking in pathetic metaphorical terms like mountains and falling and climbing. It made you feel like a sucky artist. But hey, most artists went through a lot of heartbreak, so they made good art. Mikayla almost shrugged. She should have written a poem while she had herself locked in rehab.

That time was long gone, lucky for her. She didn't even really know why she had been there in the first place. Sure, what she did was stupid and she needed a little help, but Mikayla was a smart girl, and that's why she was out in a few months, and not there for a long time like the other weird people. She was smart enough to know that she needed therapy, but she didn't understand why they had to put her in a home of sorts. It was just plain irrational, like the rest of her. She knew what she had done, she wouldn't do it again, and that was that. Mikayla thought it was just demeaning for her family to do that to her no matter how much they had her needs in mind. If they wanted to make her happy they just needed to let her stay home and hang out with her family, try and get on with life. Not talk about why she'd tried to kill herself. That was a little counter poductive. All she needed was a little tlc, and the people in rehab just treated her like another patient. Luckily she was able to get through it without going crazy and really needing to be there, and she got back home to her family. She had just wanted to get over it and now it was all sort of crashing down on her.

And it was all that TLC when she got home that made her able to watch Lucas laugh and remember on his own that weird night she'd knocked herself out. It didn't hurt her anymore, she'd taken all that pain away with one slash of a knife. She let out a small giggle at his recount of the memory, which was more blunt but very Lucas. I guess I'm just incredibly special like that, Luc. She covered up the twang in her heart with words. Kayla. That word again. Maybe it still hurt a little, physical pain couldn't cover up for everything. She wasn't able to dwell on it long before he poked her on the nose. Another blush rose on her neck and she bit her lip. It was like when she first met him all over again. She felt that girlish attraction to his charm and cheeky smile, and just wanted to run up to him and hug him. Things were different now, though. That would have been the awkwardest thing to ever happen to her lately. A hug. The only people Mikayla ever hugged now was her own family, and there were only two members. A shadow covered her eyes at his words that followed his actions. The serious comment had her eyebrows furrowing a little, she was just so damn confused with him. Did he have to be shady now? The one person who told it like it was had to go around the corners now? That was unfair, too.

The close proximity of his body as they sat down threatened to make heat rise in her face again, but she kept her composure. She had worse things to be worried about. Like the evidence of her almost death sitting out for the world to see, puckered and still an angry red color around the edges. When he started talking, she looked up at him with a worried expression. She didn't want to have to start this talk herself, it would be to hard. But then his eyes raced down to her arm, resting there lightly. Good, that one was out of the way. Mikayla didn't lean away when he leaned in, she relished the closeness but was afraid of what was to come. She felt him grasp her arm lightly, and she almost tried to pull away. If you compared her to two arms, her left was much, much weaker now from blood loss and tissue damage. She wouldn't really have pulled away if she tried. She felt a sort of stinging as he hand came close to the scar that wasn't all the way healed up yet. Something like that didn't just scab over and fall off over night. Her face took a mask of shame as he looked up at her with that look, the one that made her knew she was wrong for what she did. She looked away from his eyes, at her arm that his fingers grasped. His whispered words hit Mikayla like a ton of bricks, and tears budded in her eyes before she even got any words out. I don't know.

Her words were so silent that the only person who could have heard them was the person who was sitting so very close to her, holding her arm like he might actually care. She bit her bottom lip, holding back tears. Her left arm flexed in awareness of what was there, she wasn't trying to get away from him. The weight of his hands felt good, sort of like he was holding her down more. Otherwise she knew that she would have started to feel lightheaded, a little woozy like she always did when she cried. She let out a long breath and continued. I didn't know what to do, I was so confused. She looked up at him, she wasn't crying, her eyes were just a little watery. Mikayla didn't know if she was talking about the night she broke up with him, or the night that she tried to die. Her voice was still a whisper. I'm so sorry, Lucas. I didn't mean to, I wasn't thinking right. If there was one thing I could change, I'd go back. I would have taken it, I wouldn't have ran away. Her voice was starting to blubber a little tears started to bud at her eyes again. She looked down at her wrist again, taking in another shaky breath. It's all my fault, everything. I made me do it. All Mikayla wanted to do now was fall into him, but she didn't know what to do. Would he reject her, the idea that she tried to kill herself, because she didn't have him? Mikayla was unsure, and she hated feeling that way. I'm sorry.

words; 1287
notes; i got a little carried away with her thoughts so i added another paragraph. hope you like itttt, i do!
status; finished.

[lucas]

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---- If someone were to walk up to Lucas right now, punch him in the face and then beat him to a pulp that amount of pain wouldn't even begin to match up to the pain he was feeling right now.Emotional pain, it was that feeling where your brain started to feel like mush, like it was going to leak out of your ears at any given moment, where your heartbeat strengthened so much that the pounding against your chest felt like a hammer beating into your ribcage.Heartache had never been something he had believe to be true, he didn't think it would ever actually physically hurt to lose someone that you love, not even in the sense where she was gone forever but it seemed like she was gone from his heart forever and the reason it was aching now was because they were being their old selves again, the awkwardness that had built up so rapidly seemed to have melted into the distance, it was like they couldn't ease into the conversation before, like the wall of rock hard intense tension blocked them from being closer than a few feet away, but now they were even on touching terms, messing around as they poked and pushed one another.What he would give to just stay like that forever.When she replied to his comment his lips spread into a smile, about to reply in a teasing way, saying that she wasn't special he declined it.She was special, more special than anyone he had ever met in his life.For a moment he just looked at her, nodded simply and shrugged his shoulders.With nothing more to say on that matter they seemed to stand in silence for a while, it was a good kind of silence though.The kind that didn't make him feel tense or uneasy.

---- Sitting down next to her on a blanket at the beach all seemed to cliche to him.It was like they were on a date which made the whole reason for this thing completely ironic.To outsiders they probably looked like a cute little couple, sitting on a blanket, looking out at the sunset but if they really knew what was happening it wouldn't be all that cutesy.Denial was one thing he was suffering from at the moment and he had jumped into a big pool of denial the moment he sat down next to the beautiful young woman, he had tried to convince himself that she didn't mean anything to him anymore, that they could just have this talk and move on with everything, finally clear the water.But sitting there beside her, knowing her body was so close to his, knowing that if he just accidentally on purpose moved his leg a little to the side it would touch hers, well that was enough to send tingles over his skin, making the hairs stand up on end.That feeling completely disappeared when he noticed the shameful look in his ex lovers eyes, it was like she was wearing a mask previously and she had just ripped it off to reveal her true self, one of shame and embarrassment.The tingling sensation stopped at a halt as though someone had just pinched him and woken him up from a dream.He didn't want to feel angry but it just shot through him as he gently took her arm, not able to look away from the evidence that was staring him in the face, he asked her what she had done but in all honesty the real question was, what had he done? how could he have let it get to this? why wasn't he there for her and the most important topic that gushed into his mind was..... it was all his fault.

---- All she had to say in the beginning was 'i don't know'.She didn't know? of course she knew! If he wasn't trying to level himself out right now he would have gone completely ballistic, yelled at her and called her an idiot but he couldn't do that, she was obviously hurting and he didn't want to make matters worse so he bit his tongue, tried his hardest not to go all incredible hulk on her.Lucas felt sick, a sick, twisted feeling pelted at his stomach, he felt dizzy, as if he had just caught some intense fever.Frustrated and furious, caring and upset were only a few words to describe the party of emotions dancing away inside of him, the boy diverted his vision from her, parted their eyes as he didn't want her to see the confusion in his expression, because he didn't want her to hurt anymore.He still gripped her arm, and with that he felt her flex it lightly causing him to look back into her eyes and he noticed a build up of tears about to give way any second."confused?" he questioned, finally building up enough courage to speak, though his tone trembled he figured he was doing pretty well given the circumstances."when people are confused they try to figure out the best possible solution, when people are confused they ask others for help" he stated, feeling his eyes beginning to sting, he was too emotional for his own good right now."they don't do this Kayla" his voice kept cutting off due to the lump in the back of his throat, he held up her arm to let her know exactly what he was talking about.With that he ran his fingers from her arm to her hand, making sure he didn't touch the scar that was raised from her skin, he didn't want to hurt her.He entwined his fingers with hers, giving her as much emotional and physical support as he could muster given his state.

---- Although he had about a million things he wanted to say to her he just sat back and listened to her, for once he listened and didn't talk over her, didn't voice his opinion as she began to speak.This was one of those situations where they both needed to have their say and they both needed to listen.Still keeping hold of her hand he felt a tear burst from his eye as she spoke, he couldn't even remember the last time he cried where the cause of it wasn't laughter, it must have been around five years, he didn't even cry when he and Mikayla broke up, he was just depressed and became a homebody.The reason he was crying now was because she was crying, she was explaining to him why she had let stupidity take over her, and it was all his fault.An apology came from her lips and it felt like someone had shot a harpoon gun through his heart, he should be apologizing , not her."i know it must have scared you, for me to give you that ring but answer me honestly Mikayla" he paused "was it me you were scared of? is it so hard to imagine us being together for the rest of our lives because seriously, i wanted that for us, i could see that for us....you were my everything, my forever" he said, no undertone, he just said it like it was, he wasn't sure what to say.He didn't know if he had forgiven her for running away, he should have considering he did what he did but what he couldn't get his head around was the fact that she tried to kill herself.Because of him."its not your fault" he replied sincerely "its mine, i should have given you more time, i shouldn't have just attacked you with a ring like that....i shouldn't have been a fucking asshole and turned to miranda...i didn't mean to hurt you" he beat himself up on the inside as he looked at her, seeing the lost look in her eyes broke his heart into a thousand pieces "But you shouldn't have done what you did" he didn't name the specific action, he just couldn't "I'm such an idiot" he muttered under his breath "when did you do it Kayla, when..and why? did you not think about how it would affect people?" he was full of questions but he had to ask them, his free arm raised up, wrapping around her shoulder delicately as he pulled her into a warm embrace.

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 1443
NOTES:i lovedlovedloved your post <3 this is so much fun! and i got seriously carried away but shhhhh haha.

[rach3]

Mikayla was beginning to lose feeling in her left hand, it felt like all the numbness she felt in her life was floating into her arm, reminding her that she almost didn't have an arm, or a life. At first no one she knew really noticed anything. She wore long sleeves, didn't talk much. But she was so much thinner, so much more distant than before. She was a hallow girl, not anything like she had been before. It was a good thing her friends moved on quickly, she didn't want to have to explain why she had done what she did. It was so simple but so complex. She just didn't want to live without him, it was that simple. But the fact that she'd rejected the ring, and he'd slept with her best friend made it different. The blame was all on her, but he'd branched it off into something more. So the blame was on both of them, but when it all came back to it, she was the one who rejected his promise to be with her forever, to always be by her side. She ran off like a child, that was that. Mikayla knew the blame was not on his shoulders, and she wouldn't believe him for a second even if he tried and tried. She was sure it was her fault, and that was the end of it for that conversation. But this wasn't that conversation, it was something more.

Mikayla watched the emotions play across his face with a clear expression of shame and more on hers. It was horrible, watching him go through the realization that she'd try to kill herself, basicly over him. She'd never had to tell anyone before, and that was the truth. Her brother and dad found her at the same time, it was obvious her therapist knew about it, and the people in rehab had her file. She was just another subject to them. Mikayla had never had to face the impact of someone knowing she'd tried to kill herself outside the two people who were related to her. It was harder than she'd thought. No one had prepared her for this, she hadn't plan to ever see him again. She figured he would have taken off, gone to college on the mainland or something. Not here, not so close. It was one of the only reasons she made it through rehab. Thinking, almost knowing he wouldn't be there when she got out. That made it easier. Now, with him here, not expecting to see her at all, let alone in the scraggy state she was in. Any person would have seen her as someone who didn't get enough sleep, didn't eat enough and looked unhappy. And that was the general look of her. But someone who knew her would say she'd lost her glow, she had deep bags under her eyes, and she wasn't the same.

But she was now, she was with Lucas. She didn't look the same, but her eyes had emotion for the first time in a long time. It might have been sad, upset, ashamed, anything. It was something, and something was good. She listened to his words with those emotions on her face, sad, but no longer lonely. Even if he never wanted to be with her after what she did, even if she seemed to clingy now, he was there with her once, and it would make her feel better about the whole thing. The tone in her voice made her feel even more low. More than hurting her family, more than hurting anyone else, even her self, she had hurt the love of her life the only person for her. That hurt more than her physical pain ever could. She bit her lip, focusing on trying not to draw blood from it. Hurting herself now, in front of Lucas would not help the situation very much, not very much at all. She nodded silently at his words, sullenly. The tears still threatened to exploded, but instead only fell from her eyes every few minutes. In that moment, that was the only option for me. Mikayla met his eyes, searching. You were the only one to help me. My dad didn't understand, he didn't want me to be with you anyway.

She shook her head. Her father wasn't a mean man, he was very supportive. But the idea of his only daughter falling in love so fast scared him more than anything. So when she told him they broke up, he did a bad job of hiding his satisfaction. That only made it worse. And her older brother automatically hated him, just for being with his sister. Mikayla remembered every time Lucas came over the look on her brothers face was murderous. So having two man glad they were through wasn't the support she needed. You were the only one I could talk to about anything. She said simply. It was true. When they started dating they were already family, in love, best friends, trusted each other completely. He was the only one who she could talk to, and her huge problem was him. When he lifted her arm, looking at it closer, she pursed her lips. It was all anyone could ever see about her. The ugly scar that wasn't an accident. Was it all he would ever see of her?Her lips trembled in effort to not spill all her emotion on the beach floor. This wasn't the time to let it out, later when she was alone she could be in hysterics. When no one was looking. That would be easier, it was just how it would be. She didn't want Lucas to see her break down, even if he had before. He hadn't seen her break down like she felt like she might.

She sucked in a deep breath, then cut it off when she felt his hand run down her arm gently, again that feeling of being cared for ran through her body. She watched his hand lace through hers, and her fingers tightened around his at the same time a few tears rolled down her face. Mikayla looked at him, hope shining behind the layers of water over her eyes. But when she did, a tear was in his eyes, on his face. She frowned, reached forward with one hand to wipe it from his face. It wasn't fair for him to cry, he was her rock, and Lucas needed to be there for her when she needed him. Her face shot into that of a surprised one when his words came out. She almost jumped towards him, but her voice came out soft and insecure. No, I'm not scared of being with you forever. I just... freaked out. She didn't realize that she was talking in the present tense for a moment. Her eyes widened and she shook her head. Hearing Lucas say that she was his forever made her heart break over again. Past tense, past tense. And then he mentioned Miranda. This time, Mikayla flinched in serious pain. Miranda who betrayed her, used to be her best friend. Her jaw tightened, thinking of that girl made her sick. She nodded her head at what he said next. I know that I shouldn't have. I was so stupid. I was just so scared and alone. She whispered. Mikayla felt a weight coming off her shoulders as she told him. A few days after I found out what happened. Her jaw was taught and the tears that had once stopped were flowing again. She let out a sob and then finished, I did it because I didnt want to- she paused, then changed what she was going to say.

Because I don't want to live with out you. And I thought you didn't love me anymore because I was scared of the ring. The thought of you, not loving me, wanting to be with Miranda, or some other girl, hurt me so bad. To no end, Lucas, I was so alone. Her lips twitched. I thought I could deal with it knowing that I hurt my family. But I couldn't deal with thinking that you didn't love me, and if you didn't you wouldn't be that upset that I was gone. You didn't try to call me. Her voice became weaker. I thought you didn't want me anymore. She fell into his embrace, scooting closer. She felt his warmth around her, and closed her eyes. Mikayla hadn't felt this safe in a long time, even if it was with someone who didn't love her anymore.

words; 1484
notes; i am LOVING THIS TO NO FRIGGIN ENDDDD!!
status; done

[lucas]

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---- All this time, the time he had spent thinking about her.Wondering what she was doing with herself since she had become so withdrawn from social activity.At the worst he had thought she would have just moved on, been with some fabulous new boyfriend that gave her everything she ever wanted, she'd be in love the next time he saw her and it would crush what was left of his broken heart into minature pieces.But never in all the moments he spent questioning where she was or what she was up to, never did he imagine that she would have tried to take her own life.That was something that played on his mind because all of the things that he was thinking about that could have been negative were selfish, he was thinking that she was with someone else which would have hurt him the next time he saw her, he was thinking that she would never speak to him again, just completely blank him from her life, as if he never existed which would hurt him.He had never once thought that she would ever do something to harm herself and the stinging feeling of guilt rose in his stomach along with that unsettling ill feeling that was starting to build up in layers.How could he have been so naive, how could he have let her do this to herself? It was all his fault, if he hadn't of slept with her best friend she would be ok.Wait, was he just being selfish again here? Thinking of only himself? Luc cursed himself in his mind, what if she had tried to take her life for other reasons? It may not have been because of their break up, though it seemed pretty coincidental but she might have been going through some tough shit back at home, it was a possibility and he had been so oblivious to it all, he was an asshole.It was pure and simple, he was a jerk and he felt like repeatedly hitting his head off of a wall to knock some sense into that thick skull of his.

---- It became evident by the look of shame in the girls dull eyes that this was all because of him.She wouldn't have had that look if the reasons didn't all point in his direction and it was hard for him but he didn't tell her that, it would be so hypocritical and arrogant to assume that this situation was harder for him than it was for her, he tried to form the words in his mind of how he wanted to say it, how he wanted to tell her that he couldn't believe what she had done without hurting her feelings, he didn't want to put too much pressure on her because she might go and do something stupid again, he didn't expect that of her but then again he never would have guessed that she would do such a thing in the first place.It was so unlike her, and this person sitting beside him was so unlike the Mikayla he once knew, she was different, not at first, but now he could see that she was scared and lonely and just needed someone to help her get through everything.He wasn't quite sure if that someone should be him considering he was to blame for this damned thing in the first place but he didn't care about the rules, he wanted to be there for her and that was what he was going to do.So instead of giving her another lecture on why she shouldn't have done what she did he sat and listened, he almost winced as she looked into his eyes as though she was searching for some kind of answer, some sort of light at the end of this black hole of a tunnel."no matter what, i told you i would always be there for you" he said "when we started to get serious, when i told you i loved you, what were the first words i said to you?" he asked, raising one eyebrow and then parting his lips to finish his own sentence, not even allowing to answer the supposedly rhetorical question."i told you that no matter what happened between us, no matter how good or bad things were if you ever needed someone i would be that guy for you" she told him he was the only one to help her and he looked down to the ground for a second as she told him her dad didn't approve of them, he had nothing to say to that.He knew it anyway.

---- Not that her father ever tried to stop their relationship, he had never once told Lucas that he wasn't welcome in the house or banished him from seeing mikayla but there was just that sort of thick mood whenever they were all together.Her dad was never very talkative no matter how hard Lucas tried to form a relationship with him and as for her brother, well she hated his guts, it was a given though because luc was dating his sister so it was completely understandable that the two of them would have been just a little bit more than happy to see rid of him.That may not have gone well with Mikayla though and by the looks of things, it obviously didn't."and you still could have talked to me, we should have talked..im not blaming you for this mikayla, I'm really not..you know i wouldn't blame you for anything, I'm just saying we left our relationship without even considering what our next step was, we should have talked..." he sighed, feeling like everything that had happened was his fault.When he lifted her arm and took a good , long look at that scar, that scar that might aswell have spelt his name since it was his fault, he felt so sad inside, so torn apart.Why did things have to come down to this? He never thought his life would take a whirlwind ride and end up like some kind of soap drama, it was strange.Lacing their fingers together, even though this was a bad time for the both of them, it just felt right.Like thats the way everything should have been, supporting each other through thick and thin, it was what he was here to do and evidently she felt like repaying the gesture, when that one tear escaped his eyes against his will and rolled down his cheek she gently used her delicate hand to wipe it away, leaving him gazing into her eyes, wishing that this moment could have happened without the underlying subject.

---- A surprised expression dominated the blondes features as he made his accusation, he wondered what she would say in her defense, if she would even have a defense.Maybe she just didn't want to be with him forever, the idea of commitment may have scared her.The boy bit his lower lip anxiously, waiting for her voice to escape from her pink lips."i just wish you'd freaked out in the positive way" he replied and then shook his head lightly as he realized she was talking in present tense, as though she wasn't scared of being with him forever now.What did that mean? Did she still want to be with him? Brown eyes locking onto hers he had a questioning expression plastered over his face "you arent...or you weren't?" he asked, not avoiding the subject this time, he was being his typical straight to the point self, he needed to know.As soon as he mentioned her ex best friends name he regretted it, he didn't mean to bring up the raw subject but to give an official apology he felt he had to, even if it did make him feel like poking his own eyes out every time he thought about that girl.Lucas looked down to her as he gently rubbed her hand with his thumb, she told him she was stupid and he shook his head almost immediately "if anybody asked me to describe what you were, i would never use the word stupid..not even after this...i-" he paused, about to use words to describe her when he decided against it.Mikayla explained when she did what she did and his heart pounded against his chest momentarily, a few days after she found out about him and Miranda? a few days after he had been in bed with her best friend? his head began to spin because as he recalled it, a few days after that incident he was at home lying on his bed listening to depressing songs and he thought he was in a bad state, when at the exact same moment she was at home considering doing that to herself? It hit him hard that he wasn't there for her in her time of need.

---- As he pulled her into that warm embrace he held himself together, he felt like letting angry tears stream down his face, he felt like hitting something just to let out how angry he was with himself but he didn't, he stayed put..for her benefit.She began to speak again and he looked out at the ocean, watching how calm the waves had now become, it was like they were imitating the situation, he recalled them crashing against the rocks harshly as the two youths were going through the awkward drama and now they were calm, just like the water.The girl paused, causing him to look in her direction yet again instead of keeping her words to herself she suddenly began to speak again, he listened attentively.His eyes widened as her speech came to an end, there had been so many points where he wanted to interrupt but didn't, he couldn't even speak he was that shocked.She was still speaking in present tense, she loved him, she didn't want to be without him and even though it upset him to think about what she would do if she couldn't be with him his head was too focused on the fact that they were on the same page feelings wise."you think i wanted to be with Miranda?" he questioned "that was one night, a mistake..the biggest mistake i have ever and will ever make in my life, you wanna know why i regret that so much Mikayla? Because i was so deeply,madly,insatiably in love with you..i couldn't even think straight that night..she just started talking to me, telling me everything was going to be ok, i knew it wasn't because i couldn't have you..because i didn't think you wanted me..and then we well---- but i just thought it would make things feel better and it royally fucked them up" he sighed "i didn't call because i didn't think you wanted me to call, if I'd have called you would have just hung up because technically i cheated on you right?" he questioned rhetorically, saying what he had been so afraid to say for so long."i spent sleepless nights thinking about you, i couldn't eat for days after we broke up....because my heart didn't feel right, my mind didn't feel right..is sure as hell didn't feel right, i missed you and i loved you--" he gave up on talking in past tense now "i...love you".

TAG: mikayla maria jones.
STATUS: finisheeeed
WORDS: 1962
NOTES:i dont think iv ever written a post as long as this, my muse for this thread is so high! hahaha <33333